Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Pet peeves

I think my biggest pet peeve is when you're sitting next to someone, and ONLY their arm hair touches your arm hair.  It gives me the heeby-jeebies.  ICK.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Likes and dislikes

I like...  hot sauce.
I dislike... people who refrigerate hot sauce.

I like... blond eyelashes.
I dislike... gingers.

I like... a lot of things.
I dislike... girls with handcuff accessories.

I'm going home for the weekend.  See ya, Chi!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

A couple of fools

Hung-OVER. I'm over it. Literally, this sucks. Remind me to never, ever, EVER order another $5 Pomegranate Long Island Iced Tea from Joey's. It may sound like a good idea, but it tastes like Jungle Juice- not the canned kind, but the kind you consumed copious amounts of freshman year at upperclassmen parties. Remember the hangover you got from that sugary mess? Yeah, I guess the lesson learned is to always remember that terrible feeling and pull yourself up by the bootstraps and JUST SAY NO to a $5 drink from hell. Just because it's $5 doesn't make it worth it.

So now that I’m done with that- what I will rant about next may be a little offensive (I was personally offended when approached about it last night) so be forewarned. The story begins around 11pm last night. Mr. Landon Nagle was in town and a bunch of us got together at the "old stomping ground" (if you could call it that, Joey's Brickhouse) (see note above). After we challenged Gerber to an Iced Tea chugging contest (I can only imagine how HE must feel today, haha) we decided to pay our tabs and continue drinking for much less at Marie and Sater's. First of all, I’d like to give a shout out my roommates who BOLTED out the door without me. One of them goes by the title of Miss Shrimp and the other is Becky. Jerks. Thankfully, Gerber was kind enough to wait for me to finish and we headed out onto the street. As he was unlocking his bike, this kid, all dressed in white, jumps up off a bench outside the bar and yells at me (I have decided to continue this as a dialogue below for your entertainment)


Me: You mean Diversey?

Kid: Yeah, where is Diversity?

Me: You mean Diversey?

Kid: Look, I’m from the South-

Me: Me too, we’re from Virginia.

Kid: Oh okay! We’re from Louisiana and my friend here [refers to a sloppy kid behind him also clad in all white slumped on the bench] really needs to get to bed and we almost just got arrested. We need to get to Diversity.

Me: You mean Diversey?

Kid: Yeah, Diversity.

[This is where Gerber interjects thus sending us on a wild ride of hilarity]

Gerber: [Pointing in a million directions at once] Diversey is North of here, no South, no wait, it’s definitely East because…. [blah blah blah blah]

Me: [Arguing with Gerber at this point] No, I definitely no it’s that way [Also pointing in a million directions at once] because I pass the Diversey stop on the brown line every day.

Gerber: No, no, it’s definitely- wait, where are you trying to get to anyway?

Kid: Okay, so just a little bit ago we were down at the red line stop and I swiped my card to get in [to spare you the entire story, basically this kid tried to use his card twice to get him and his friend in the station, dumbasses should have just bought another fare card] So now we can’t go back because this asshole cop said that if we go back there he’d arrest us. We just need to get to Loyolla… or DePaul.

Gerber: Ohhh, you need to get to DePaul? I can tell you how to get there- wait, which campus?

Kid: You guys are from the south, do you know the difference between a black person and a N*gger? [I know what you’re thinking and YEAH, HE JUST SAID THAT!]

Me and Gerber: Uhhhhhhhhh………… WHAT?

Kid: You guys know the difference, right?

Me: No. What the hell are you talking about? Let’s just go [I start walking away]

Gerber: [Trying to engage this piece of shit kid in a conversation to teach him a lesson] No, wait. I think you got the wrong impression here. We’re not going to relate to you just because we’re also white and we’re from the south. We aren’t racist.

Kid: All I’m saying is that that asshole cop wouldn’t let us into the train station because we were white. He was a real N*gger, you know what I mean?

This shit continues for like another 5 minutes and all I want to do is literally sprint away from these two ignorant children and just go hang out with my friends and have fun and just ignore the fact that people like this actually exist. But Gerber insists on teaching these kids a lesson so I reluctantly stick around. I guess you could call me a coward for wanting to leave- but for some reason it seemed like a battle I knew I could go on trying to fight valiantly but end up losing in the end. I have learned from experience that trying to fight ignorance is one of the toughest battles you can ever choose. It’s exhausting. Can I also, one again, touch on the fact that not only were they dressed in all white- angels? Hardly. But they were asking me how to get to a made up street named Diversity? Alanis Morisette would call that ironic.

More importantly though, I’d like to note that I am so very thankful to be the person I am. I am so grateful for all the training I have received from VCU and TCP that has taught me to be open and accepting. I love that I am an artist and I see the world and all of the people in it and appreciate life. I am so lucky to have the friends that I have, such beautiful people who want to better the sad ignorance.

I wish, more than anything, those kids could get lost in the wrong neighborhood and get the shit beaten out of them for being such low-lifes. But, no. My amazing friend took the time to tell them how to get to where they were going because in the end, we're all human. I was so proud, and I will continue to be proud of him and any one of my friends who would have done the same thing. I only wish I could possess the same amount of patience for such fools. I love my friends.

PS today is September 11th.  Such blind hate that those two children possess is the same that has taken the lives of thousands on this day 9 years ago.  I am an American and I am grateful for all the freedoms this country has given to me by just being born here.  Although I understand those two kids are entitiled to their opinions, I hope that someday everyone is of the same mindset that we should be holding one another up and not tearing our fellow neighbor down for differences in religion, beliefs, or skin tone.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Moving to Chicago -- A Recap

For those of you that will read this, I hope you appreciate the title of this blog.  If you know anything about me at all, you would know that I am one of, if not the biggest, complainer on the planet.  I've learned to embrace this (negative) attribute by channelling my daily adventures and misadventures into a blog.  Oh yeah and it's a Mates of State reference.  Duh.  But you'd only get that part if you were cool enough.  (That reminds me: go download some MoS now.  I suggest the new album, "Re-Arrange Us")

Anyway, what's up with me?  So glad that I asked.  I just moved to Chicago, IL at the beginning of August.  Graduated in May from school with a theatre degree in my hand and hopes and dreams shoved into my pockets like soggy wet oatmeal you wanted to save after that Holiday Inn cost you $50 a night and the least they could do was let you steal stuff from the continental breakfast that forced you to wake up between the ungodly hours of 8 and 9 am.  So yeah, a degree and soggy-wet-pockets full of dreams.  Oh and four amazingly talented and caring roommates, and a ton of fellow alumni.  And I'm sure I know what you're thinking- it's exactly what every local that I have met thus far has been asking me, "Why Chi-cAAHHHHRRR-go?"  (Every mid-westner talks like that, trust me.)  First of all, stop asking me that.  Secondly, 'cause I wanted to!  I'll answer this question one last god damned time:  I'm here for the atmosphere, a taste of a big city away from home and school, iO, Second City, The Annoyance, The Playground, Comedy Sportz, Chicago style hot dogs complete with celery salt and a pickle, Lake Michigan and when it freezes over in the winter, Culture, Festivals, cheap and clean and convenient public transportation to wherever it is you want to go, night life, friends, DANK pizza (Sup, Giordanos? Oh and if you haven't tried Ian's special this month which happens to be Crab Rangoon pizza, GET ON IT!), and Oprah.  Okay the last one was supposed to make you laugh.  But all the rest is true.

And so far I've been able to experience most of that, and I'm sure there is more to see and do along the way.  Yeah yeah yeah, don't remind how cold this winter will be.  I'm sure you'll regret reminding me once you check back to this blog to read how much I can actually complain about it.  Good news is, you can stop reading at any time.  However, I strongly suggest that you continue- just in case you are personally mentioned somewhere in the body of text and I happen to make fun of you.  In fact, why don't you save yourself some time and do a quick search of the page for your name.  Go ahead, scan for it.  It might be there.  And after it it might say "I secretly hate the shit out of you."

Okay.  For those of you brave enough to push on:  I'll bring you up to speed without getting too wordy (and then later we'll get into the good stuff- the real, oh-my-God-Carol's-day-to-day-life-really-is-a-living-hell.)  Basically I got here and was like, okay- now that we've moved in all of our stuff, ate good stuffed pizza (again: sup, Giordanos?), and drank a ton of Miller Lite and Jameson which then helped us christen the house with a rousing game of strip Apples to Apples (yeah, it can be done)  WHAT NOW?  Well, being the hungry-actress I am (HA), I self-submitted myself to a lot of film opportunities.  One of which was participating in the 48-hour film fest, which was a positive experience.  Met cool people and got a chance to act like myself in front of a camera.  Didn't win any awards, who cares?  And the other was what I thought would be fun- got to be an extra in a new Ron Howard film, The Dilemma.  Unfortunately, the experience WOULD have been a good one if I wasn't stuck listening to another one of the extras talk for 9 hours as we waited to film about how when he was on the set for Transformers 3 they had gourmet chefs and got to eat the same food as Shia.  GUESS WHAT? I DON'T CARE.  I think his name was Derek, once again though- who really cares?  Not this girl.

So after those situations played out, I was still like "Okay, get a real job now?"  Because unlike Derek, the successful manager at a Walmart, slash print model, slash extra actor, I possessed what half this country doesn't have- Ha ha, I forgot I had a degree.  So where did I go?  Thanks to a good friend, Susan (I secretly hate the shit out of you) Glynn, I went to an open house at a Temp Agency.  Although I may have taken like 2 hours on the computer literacy exams, I passed and was assigned a job that a monkey could do in just a few days!  What was this monkey-brained job you ask?  I literally sat on a street corner for 12 hours a day counting people crossing the street and entering coffee shops.  Yeah.  Imagine all of the stuff I could complain about THAT!  (My poor roommate Becky had to hear most of it)  I'll spare you all, but I will say this:  Complaining can ACTUALLY get you somewhere.  Seriously, after sleeping off my delirium from the first day, I whined to my supervisor (Who will hereafter be called Howie due to his striking resemblance to Howie Mandel) who then moved my position to a much shadier and less busy street corner.  Ha.  I win.  Anyway, I left that job with $393 dollars in my pocket.  Not the soggy one, the empty one.

Since then, I was fortunate enough to meet up with an old friend, Sasha, that has crucially hooked me up with a job in her office.  All I do is sit on a Mac all day (fancy schmancy right?) and manually log video interviews.  I'm sure I'll start complaining about that sooner or later.  My first day was Thursday and I was completely out of it.  I had to ask the guy sitting next to me where the ON button was on the computer.  Question:  because I am a young and hip 20 something, should I be more Mac literate?  I honestly felt like the hugest buffoon walking in there like "DUUUR, I'm from Virginia!  Help me!" 

Well, it's probably time to put my pants back on and head to class at iO.  The cool September breeze has swept back into the streets and thus No-Pants-Summer has officially ended.  Thanks to my roommate Nicoke for introducing the concept to me.  (I call her Nicoke only because I use T9 to type text messages and it won't let me spell NicoLe correctly)  Hope all of that wasn't too much to handle.  Trust me, these blogs will slowly gain momentum as crazier things keep happening to me that I feel like complaining about.  Not that they haven't yet- What about that time when Ryan and I saw what we thought was a homeless man building a lamp-bomb on the red line?  Or when I accidentally text messaged an old friend that I wanted to warm him during the winter?  Or when that women wiped her butt in front of us outside of the Jewel Osco?  Or Or Or Or...