Monday, October 18, 2010

Note to self:

Never take Tylenol PM in the AM...  Especially when you have work at 9.


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Did I mention...?

On my commute home from work a few weeks ago the train was packed.  I'm assuming that all of the Northbound Brown Line trains were running late because by the time I got up to the platform it was overflowing with people-- not normal.

Anyway, I was forced to stand and hold a pole for balance but was so wedged in by others that I didn't really have a good grip.   Did I also mention I had no cash to get on the train that day so I was forced to run down to 7-11 and buy a $1.99 Gatorade to get cash back to put on my CTA card in order to avoid the $3.00 ATM fee?

So there I am, wedged in and gripping my purse, a pole, and a sealed full bottle of Gatorade on a train that was running late.  I guess because of the lateness, the conductor saw the need to speed down the tracks in order to make up for lost time.  Then... it happened.  The conductor slammed the breaks as he was approaching a stop and my 20 ounces of delicious Fierce Grapey goodness goes FLYING and hits the wall of the train, ricocheting off and hitting the head of a seated female passenger then continues to fall onto her PREGNANT belly.


I have never been more mortified in my life.  Forget the fact that I lost my footing and fell into the man standing next to me-- sure that would have been enough to make me blush but instead I had to flipping injure this poor and unsuspecting pregnant woman's unborn child.

Fast forward 10 years from now... I'm probably the reason that kid won't understand math.

Monday, October 4, 2010

My big dumb face, deal with it

First post of Halloween month!  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, it feels good.
Speaking of which...

I've been thinking about this for a while now.  Sometimes I just want to smile.  I just want to walk down the street or ride my bike or sit on the train and smile.  I follow my instincts and I do smile for a few seconds and then something always stops me.  It's that fear that other people are going to look at me like I'm crazy.

My question is... Why the hell do I care so much?  I mean really.  Why can't I be that girl that's smiling in a sea of miserably jaded Chicagoans?  I mean, think about it.  I have a lot to smile about.  I'm alive-- for one. I'm walking and talking and thinking and feeling.  And god dammit... I am loved.  I have every reason to smile.

I guess what's been holding me back is the thought that others are going to suddenly turn on me like, "What's that bitch so happy about?  How dare she be happy about anything."  So I stop myself every time.

This is a formal apology to the world-  Sorry I look a dope who can't stop smiling while listening to my ipod and riding home from a really rewarding and challenging night of class.  I can't help it.  I want to be happy.

Truly, what I wish would happen every time is that maybe one person will catch me out of the corner of their eye and smile too.  Because, after all, isn't mood infectious?  It is.  I can honestly say I have had some pretty shitty days when the lady in the mail room has had one too and decides to take it out on me.  If I have learned anything about people, it's that you can really make any stranger's day, for better or worse, with the mood you project to the world.

I'm not saying you're not allowed to feel down and depressed some days... We ALL have those days, that's fine.  But what I'm getting at is if I am in a good mood for being alive, and I want to smile for my 30 minute train ride downtown, God Dammit, I'm gunna!  And if someone is having a terrible morning-- like maybe their cat just puked in their favorite pair of shoes after they missed their morning alarm clock only to wake up to a note left by their significant other detailing the reasons why they're leaving them for the last time... well I can only hope my dumb smiling face brings them the tiniest piece of joy.  You know, like maybe there's hope in humanity-- maybe not every stranger has something out for you too.

After all, tomorrow is another day.  (Name that quote and win a cookie)