Wednesday, November 24, 2010


Hey Blog,

Happy Thanksgiving.
My Pop pop died yesterday morning. I spent all day yesterday grieving, sleeping, crying, sleeping some more, and putting up a Christmas tree.  I am feeling less crazy today. My mom was fortunate enough to be with him when he took his last breath. She told him his parents were waiting for him, and that made me feel better.
The funeral is not until Saturday, so I am spending Thanksgiving here in Chicago surrounded by good friends and food. I am honored because my grandmother asked me to read a passage during the service. My brother and I will both be doing that. It almost reminds me of my grandfather's birthday back in 2001.  We surprised him at church. My brother and I processed in holding the torches and he was completely blown away.  Yeah, I was a big churchy kid growing up. Served on the altar as an acolyte and loved it.

Anyway, the service will be special.  It will be in New York in the church my parents were married in and I was baptized in.  It's church my grandmother still serves on the altar guild for.  All of my family will be there and I am excited to be "home". 

I am very content.  Sitting here on the futon, Christmas tree lit up, sipping a glass of wine with Kait and Ryan, Hawks on in the background (side note, I just mistyped the last word as Bachround. Is that when Bach is playing music in the background? Maybe. Was that a terrible attempt at a joke? Most definitely).  Just made a peach and berry pie I am freezing until tomorrow.  Kait just put on some Coheed-- Haha, feeling nostalgic.  Nicole and Eric are on the way home with Ian's special this month, Thanksgiving pizza!!!  That's turkey, gravy, stuffing, and I think mashed potatoes.  On a pizza.  Can't wait.

They're here now. So I'm going to stuff my face tonight and then fast for the rest of the day tomorrow.
Quickly just wanted to say
Eric just asked me to type a paragraph about him... Not happening.
I forgot to mention last night my roommates gave me daises and we went out for Mexican.  Queso, Salsa, Chimichangas, and Margaritas!  It was delicious and the perfect remedy to a terrible no good very bad day.
I told the ladies for my birthday I wanted to get mani pedis at this place that also massages you. Nicole then said "Where?" and I said, "This place on Southport" she then replied, "No... Where do they massage you?"

Okay, Blog... Anyway. It's freaking cold here. And it's supposed to snow tomorrow.  I hope so.
I'll talk to you after I come back from New York.
Love you like a half sister.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Sick and stupid

First of all, this post is over two weeks old when I wrote it. I guess I never posted it... So here it is, whoever wants to waste a good 10 minutes of their time, I promise by the end of this you'll be saying, "Dang, she stupid."

Okay, so I'm sick and stupid and here's why:

Woke up this morning coughing up little bits of lung and called my step mom for help.  She told me I could call this service provided by my temporary insurance policy that allows me to talk to a doctor, tell him my symptoms, and have a prescription be phoned into the pharmacy.  I said, "What is this Europe?" Seriously, if that's not wave of the future, I don't know what is.  So awesome.  So anyway, my doctor was a real delight, great and easy to talk to.  He prescribed me some antibiotics for a sinus infection.  Great. So my step mom reminds me to print off my new drug card to bring into the pharmacy to pick up the prescription.  Great.  Oh wait... Shit.  I've gone super long without replacing the black ink in my printer (Even so far as a few weeks ago I printed my resume off in a very dark navy blue. Say something! Ink ain't cheap!)  I quickly resigned myself to the fact that I was a total dummy for putting off buying ink for this long and now I'm going to have to pay.  So I put on all my gear; coat, hat, scarf, I get all bundled up and head out down the street to the Office Depot.  The worst part about this experience, let me just say, the Office Depot is conveniently situated right next to the pahrmacy I have to go to... Not like I can just pick my prescription up though after I buy the ink-- I still have to go home and print off the drug card, remember? My stupid ass... I literally hate myself for not getting to this printer sooner, typical me.  So two trips, here we go...

So I'm crossing the parking lot, fighting to breathe in the harsh 45 degree air, and literally as the two sliding doors open on me I stop and think "Son of a... Did I even CHECK to see the specific TYPE of ink I need?"  No. The short answer is no. I most certainly did not.

So I'm sick and stupid.  I bought what I thought I needed and thank GOD, I got the right one.  The sales clerk had a nice laugh at my expense, though.

So I got home, loaded up the printer, printed the drug card, and headed BACK OUT to the Jewel to get this medicine.  Of course, OF COURSE the pharmacist then tells me I printed the wrong card.  So then he tells me I have to pay full price, print the right card and bring it back for reimbursement.

Which I never did.

Sick and stupid, sick and stupid.

Carol and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week

It's been a rough a week. I'm struggling to find the humor, couldn't find it, so Susan and I saw the free show at iO last night. A human slip and slide brought me to tears. That was great. I can't wait to get through today and go to class tomorrow.

I'm trying to stay strong for my brother who was basically just raped in court yesterday. I feel like America has an easier time pointing the finger at the "neglectful father" which angers me so much I could punch a candyless pinata! My brother is the best father I can think of. I'm not exaggerating. I honestly figured, when I first heard he would be having a child, he'd have no clue how to take care of a little girl. But he's been taking care of me, his little sis, now for almost 23 years, for my whole life. He's had a lot of practice and so I have to give him some credit. I love my brother and couldn't be more proud of the maturity he's displaying while going through this.

Another big weight on my mind is my grandfather. He's currently in the hospital with pneumonia. The doctor says while he was being fed in the nursing home, he must have aspirated some food that caused the infection. The antibiotics seem to be working now, but the bad news is he still can't feed himself properly so they're considering a feeding tube. That's great and all, but if he has the feeding tube, he won't be allowed to go back to the nursing home. My mom says she thinks this is the end. I don't want to believe it.

It's extremely tough for me to see the strongest man in my life go through this. I don't know anyone tougher, wiser, and funnier than my Poppie. I was so touched to hear that when they brought him in and put the oxygen mask on him he looked up at my grandmother and asked if he was dying. She looked down at him and said, "You're not going anywhere without me!" That's true love. I only hope when I am urinating myself and can't even bring a spoon to my mouth, the love of my life will still be by my side.

My only fear is that by the time I get to my grandparents house for Christmas, it'll be too late. I have to see my Poppie again, I miss him too much. I've decided on getting a Whip-poor-will tattoo (My mom's going to kill me if she's reading this). My grandparent's lake house in the Adirondacks was named after the bird, and I go back to that special place in my mind when I think about them.

So, needless to say, a lot of SHIT is going on. More than I even mentioned-- but a girl can only complain so much in one blog post, right?

Update: Poppie is back in the nursing home, isn't on any sort of IV fluids or feeding tube because of their policies about that. They are continuing to give him his pills and feed him but if he chokes on anything, that's it. He's DNR, do not resusitate. He's asked for that.