I get it. YOU'RE FUNNY.

So breaking into the comedy community is really easy... If you're an asshole.

I'm feeling super discouraged lately because of all these auditions I've been going to at Second City. I haven't taken classes there since two summers ago and I feel completely out of that loop. So I've been trying to get myself in there for the time being while I can only afford classes at iO.

I am so thrilled to be studying at iO, by the way. Glad I took that leap. To be honest, signing up for those classes was such a whim. But I realized I see more shows there than any other theatre in town. So why not study from the best? DUH. Next on the once-I-get-a-job-and-can-afford-more-classes list is the Annoyance. I guess I just really vibed with Susan Messing and her teachings and I want more.

Which brings me to my point. She's all about making bold and specific choices on stage and sticking to them to let the comedy rise. After studying under her at iO, I walk into these auditions at Second City and everyone around me makes me feel so uncomfortable to improvise because I get this overwhelming feeling that they don't care who they yell over for a cheap laugh. That does NOT make me want to play with you. Hate to say. Maybe these past couple of experiences have been isolated incidents. I don't know. It doesn't make me feel good. I feel like I just fade into some sort of white washed picket fenced background when I'm over there.

I feel like I know my comedy style pretty well, I just need to know how to control it. I'm such an anxious person already and if you put me into a high stress slash extremely uncomfortable situation, I find that being "myself" is the last thing I want to be. So naturally I protect myself from being hurt or embarrassed or insulted by just going flat. I'm in an audition with a bunch of chuckleheads who want to be THE FUNNIEST PERSON IN THE ROOM and I just give up and retreat. I'd rather protect my process than try and match their boink-fest (to quote Susan) energy.

This is absolutely not to say that the teachers over there encourage their students to be a bunch of self involved obnoxious jerks. I know for a fact they don't. But something really goes out the window with young comedians my age when you're put in front of writers. Honesty and integrity. I want to play with honest people who just want to have fun.

Oughhh. I've got the willies.

Remind me next time to write about how all girls are born hating all other girls and that the rest of our lives we spend trying to suss out which girl can we call a friend in hopes to protect us from the other girls who don't know why but hate us for just being girls and being in their personal space. Chill out! Heaven forbid we have a conversation about common interests. I'm not trying to hit on your mediocre and douchey guy friends. Go fly a kite... FOR REAL.